So… I’ve decided I might post some of my poetry on my blog for feedback (and other vain things)
Saif introduced me to a very cool poem called “Doppelganger”, by James A. Lindon.
I’m not sure if it’s copyrighted or anything, but since I gave credit to the poet, I think I’m ok…
See if you can find what’s really cool about this poem:
Doppelganger
Entering the lonely house with my wife
I saw him for the first time
Peering furtively from behind a bush —
Blackness that moved,
A shape amid the shadows,
A momentary glimpse of gleaming eyes
Revealed in the ragged moon.
A closer look (he seemed to turn) might have
Put him to flight forever —
I dared not
(For reasons that I failed to understand),
Though I knew I should act at once.
I puzzled over it, hiding alone,
Watching the woman as she neared the gate.
He came, and I saw him crouching
Night after night.
Night after night
He came, and I saw him crouching,
Watching the woman as she neared the gate.
I puzzled over it, hiding alone —
Though I knew I should act at once,
For reasons that I failed to understand
I dared not
Put him to flight forever.
A closer look (he seemed to turn) might have
Revealed in the ragged moon.
A momentary glimpse of gleaming eyes
A shape amid the shadows,
Blackness that moved.
Peering furtively from behind a bush,
I saw him for the first time,
Entering the lonely house with my wife.
Last year, I wrote a poem based on the cool feature of this poem.
If you haven’t found the feature yet, compare it to my poem:
Risk
Peering anxiously over the side of the abyss,
I stand apart from the crowd in the distance,
Murmuring incoherently —
A despondent manifestation of cowardliness,
Apprehension pervades the entire being,
Irresolute, indecisive, and hesitant.
The people grumble.
Incapacitated by tremendous fear,
I swiftly fall to the ground.
The gaping chasm spans a vast expanse:
A void.
Nothing.
I close my eyes, and I open them to see
That my feet have remained on firm ground.
I desperately hope
I am thrown over the edge
Instead of falling on my own
With a push.
With a push,
Instead of falling on my own,
I am thrown over the edge.
I desperately hope
That my feet have remained on firm ground
I close my eyes, and I open them to see
Nothing.
A void.
The gaping chasm spans a vast expanse.
I swiftly fall to the ground.
Incapacitated by tremendous fear
The people grumble,
Irresolute, indecisive, and hesitant.
Apprehension pervades the entire being,
A despondent manifestation of cowardliness
Murmuring incoherently.
I stand apart from the crowd in the distance,
Peering anxiously over the side of the abyss.
I tried to make my poem have deeper symbolism in addition to applying the interesting structure.
However, I’m not sure if the reader can interpret my intended meaning… why don’t you have a go at it?